“It does not matter how slow you go so long as you do not stop.”

i love her like i never love someone before. i love her more than i love myself. i wanted to give her everything. everthing she wants, everything she needs. i want her to be happy.

but today, something happened that i almost lost her. i’ve cause her so much pain that she shouldn’t have felt. because of me thinking about myself, because of me being insensitive for what she feels, because of me being a fucking asshole, i made her shed tears.

damn, i miss her so much today, i want to kiss her, hug her, take care of her. but what the fuck is wrong with me? i kept on saying promises i can’t even keep, i told her i’ll make her happy but all this time what i’ve really gave her? pain, sadness, anger.

she said, “everyone wants to be the sun that lights up your life. But I’d rather be your moon, so I can shine on you during your darkest hour when your sun isn’t around.” she’s my moon. she made me feel the love i never felt before. she gave me the love no one else in this world would have. she cares for me a lot, she showed me kindness, she gave me happiness.

i hate it most when i can’t do anything about these things. now i can’t even make her smile. i feel lost, i’m a total jackass, an asshole, a jerk for giving her pain.

i want to change, actually i will change. but i don’t know if i can still gain her trust, i don’t know if i can still make her smile. i don’t want her to cry again, i don’t want her to feel pain anymore. i wish i can turn back time and make things right. start all over again and be the perfect one for her.

i don’t know if i can but i try my best to make things the way they were before and make it much better this time… i won’t stop, i won’t quit. i’ll endure all the pain, the sadness. even if it would cause me my life. I WILL MAKE HER SMILE AGAIN!!!